Ten Signs That You Are Obsessed With Sherlock
by ThoroughlySherlocked
Summary: Do you think you are obsessed with BBC's Sherlock? Click here to see if you are! A short little fic that would not leave me alone. Please read and review. The little gray box is down there for a reason.
1. Signs 1-10

**TEN SIGNS YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH SHERLOCK**

DISCLAIMER: It's on a website called fanfiction. net. What do you think?

1. While watching the Reichenbach Falls, you don't cry. Instead, you think 'Sentiment is a chemical defect in the losing side' and 'Caring is not an advantage' because Sherlock would think that crying was a weakness.

2. You own a Belstaff or a coat that looks like a Belstaff. You wear this all the time when you go outside. You also own a navy scarf.

3. You want to live in London- not for the economy or anything, but because Sherlock Holmes lived there.

4. You talk snarkily to all people you meet, resulting in you being known as very rude.

5. You start deducing people you meet.

6. You develop a sudden liking for biology and chemistry.

7. The fridge is filled with blood (or imitation blood).

8. When you are asked to clean your room, you say, "Not my division!" and turn to the couch to watch more Sherlock.

9. You start thinking about getting a flatmate (preferably a surgeon from Afghanistan).

10. You think that you are a high-functioning sociopath and try desperately to get an IQ level of over 150.


	2. Signs 11-20

11. When your mom finds out about your Sherlock obsession, she tells you 'This obsession of your is getting out of hand". You respond by correcting her grammar- doesn't she know that it's 'obsession of _yours_'?

12. You start liking skulls and think of them as your friends.

13. When you are asked to write a paper on the personalities of two characters, you choose Sherlock and John. You are then informed (not so politely) that you cannot choose fictional characters. Instead, you end up choosing Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.

14. You type the word 'Sherlock' so much that when you go to type 'she', your fingers automatically decide that 'Sherlock' needs to be typed.

15. There is a poster of a yellow smiley face in your living room/bedroom. You have stabbed it with a thumbtack to make it appear to have holes.

16. When asked by your parents to make tea, you say, "I'm not your housekeeper," even though it earns you a nice slap and scolding.

17. You memorise all of Sherlock's quotes and use them in day-to-day life.

18. You use words nobody can understand (even though they are actually actual words) in normal talk.

19. You 'forget' that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

20. You suddenly love the morgue and feel like becoming a forensic pathologist or a consulting detective or an army doctor when you grow up.


	3. Signs 21-30

21. You start noticing things that relate directly to Sherlock in real life: for example, Papa Moran's Pizza becomes a real threat.

22. Your English teacher is starting to get fed up with your incessant writing that *may* be fanfiction.

23. Whenever someone tells you you're a Sherlock freak/ too obsessed/a total stalker/ you're a borderline psychopath, you turn, unleash a burning glower, and witheringly utter the following : "I'm not a Sherlock freak/too obsessed/a total stalker/a borderline psychopath, I'm a _high-functioning sociopath-_ DO YOUR RESEARCH."

24. You make (fake) nicotine patches and are sure to wear them 24/7.

25. For a science fair project, you choose one that has you go the the local morgue and pick up some feet.

26. You whip dolls with riding crops and attempt to bruise them.

27. Chinese suddenly becomes what you feel like eating every day.

28. You buy tight fitting button downs in the colours grey, white, black, and purple.

29. Suits become your preferred apparel.

30. When you're bored, you curl into a ball on the couch and shoot an imaginary gun.


	4. Signs 31-40

**So, I know that for the first time ever I've updated twice in one day. Thank you to Arty Diane, Starlight05, Lo613, Lily, Kaitlin Isilhin, Ennui Enigma, and Guest for reviewing, even though my thanks are very late. Also, thank you to Diane and Starlight for #1 and #5!**

31. You own a blanket that's garishly orange, like a police shock blanket.

32. You incessantly ask your mom to make tea for you. She, of course, refuses- she's not your housekeeper, dear.

33. Whenever you eat apples, you're sure to carve IOU in them.

34. You *forget* to eat anytime during school or work- but you are _not _anorexic.

35. You often sprawl out on the couch with your hands steepled under your chin and think.

36. The one time you worked something out beforpe Sherlock, you screamed so that the neighbours called the police, told all your friendsm and fell down in front of the screen.

37. Your tea preference changes from whatever it was to black, two sugars.

38. There are several portraits you've done digitally- but you purposely mess them up with a yellow line to the eyes.

39. You make a big deal out of trying to solve every crime on the news before the police.

40. Even though you haven't ever touched a violin before and even though it's the middle of the year, when you go back to school you plan to join the school's orchestra and learn violin (Bach, especially.)


	5. Signs 41-50

**Thank you to George Weasley's Ear for #56 and Arty Diane for #55!**

41. You went through the 'I-want-to-become-a-pirate' stage like most children. In the past, you were ashamed of it. Now? You're gleeful at the thought of becoming a pirate.

42. Whenever you eat cake, you can't help but think of Mycroft. When you eat Chinese takeaway, you can't help of thinking of John and Sherlock.

43. You urge your brother to occupy a 'minor' position in the British Government.

44. When you pass by a crime scene in the car or when you're walking, you giggle.

45. When you go to the restaurant with your date, the waiter brings a candle for your table. You say "I'm not his date!" to which he replies, "Uh, yes, you are."

46. Whenever someone says they'll do something that they really won't, you say "No you won't!" like Moriarty.

47. Your friends are John Watson in your contacts, and you are Sherlock Holmes in theirs.

48. Whenever Halloween comes, you are sure to buy as many fingers, toes, and eyes to put in the fridge. Only difference is, they're candy.

49. You gather samples of tobacco ash and analyze them with the dirt.

50. You respond by 'Dull!' to anything that you don't like.


	6. Signs 51-60

**AN: Thank-you to Wingatron for number 62! Also, it seems that this story does _not _want to stop. As to the late update, life and this horrible thing called the Real World have been getting in the way. On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know why there was a spot of blood on the windowsill in TGG when West was pushed down the stairs? **

51. You are reluctant to get a cab because the cabbie might be a serial killer.

52. You change the password of your mobile into SHER in order to see I AM SHERLOCKED every time you turn it on.

53. You peer at everything through a magnifying glass in order to try and notice the tiny little details Sherlock would approve of noticing.

54. For your vocabulary homework, you have to write the definition and an example sentence. You manage to reference Sherlock in all 50 words. (From Tom Sawyer, too.)

55. You _literally_ squealed when you realised that your art teacher had just referred to the skull you were supposed to be drawing in charcoal as her 'friend'.

56. When you and your dad are having a conversation about ice cream's nutritional value at the dinner table, he asks, "If it's so bad for you then why do people eat it in such large amounts?" Your response: "Because that's what people DO!"

57. Even though it costs you every little bit of your already meager allowance, you go to Walmart, try to deduce the cashier, buy bolts of red, white, and blue fabric, and make a Union Jack pillow for yourself to go on the leather couch that is _of course not _like Sherlock's in every way.

58. You formulate endless theories about The Reichenbach Fall.

59. You stand dramatically on the bathroom sink at your school with your friend below you, and say, "This is my note. That's what people do, isn't it? Leave a note," while your best friend looks at you like _what the hell. _

60. When said best friend goes on a date with her boyfriend, you suggest a circus, preferably Chinese and followed with the date getting kidnapped.


	7. Signs 61-70

**AN: So tonight, I got five reviews in all. Enthralled, I decided that I would post this chapter now. Enjoy. xD  
Starlight05 gets all the credit for the second one. Have any of you noticed that the numbering on the chapters is totally screwed up? *tries to** **fix*  
****Edit: Chapter numbering fixed. **

61. You store a secret stash of candy in the Persian slipper near the fireplace and get pissed off when someone hides it. You have a _high metabolism_, you can tolerate candy, you think. No, they say.

62. You use Moriarty-isms like "I will skiiiiiin you" and "Daddy's had enough now" on a fairly regular basis even though your friends think you're a freak

63. You have once dumped a whole bucket of false blood over your head, dressed in a black suit and white shirt, and asked a cabbie if they would possibly deliver you to your home. All of them answered negatively. In the end, you take the tube home.

64. When two people are fighting in school, this really arrogant guy you hate says, " Then punch me in the face, hard. See if you dare, bitch." As you step in the middle of the fight, you respond, "I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're talking, but it's usually subtext," then swoop out with your trench coat like a certain consulting detective. You are bleeding from a cheek.

65. Whenever someone says something really poetic/metaphoric/figurative, you remark, "Yes, very nice, but if I wanted poetry I would read your emails to your girl/boyfriend. Much funnier."

66. At Wal-Mart, you see a bag of popcorn labelled 'Popcorn, In'. You can't help but think of 'Liberty, In,' and wonder how Liberty In Death makes sense, but Popcorn In Death doesn't at all. Unless, of course, you get a giant bag of popcorn when you die.

67. You carve out the eyes to your little sister's baby dolls, place them in a small jar, fill it with vinegar, and leave it in the microwave for your mum to find. When she comes down to make dinner, she tells you to get the eyes out of the microwave and _is that my vinegar with them_. Needless to say, she is not pleased at all.

68. When your English teacher tells you your next assignment will be to write a fairy tale, you ask whether you can include apples, knives, falling men, breadcrumbs, and chocolate. Said teacher wonders what you're talking about and firmly denies it. You counter this by saying it's a mixture of fairy tales and therefore counts as one, while what you're really thinking of is _ohmygodnotthereichenbachfall swhydoitorturemyselfinthiswa y. _

69. You develop a voice inside of your head that is pretty much Sherlock reincarnate.

70. If someone even _dares _to hurt your landlady and said landlady needs to leave, you respond by saying, "Mrs. *insert name of landlady here* leave *insert name of street here*?! Why, *insert country you live in* would fall!"


End file.
